15 junio 2019

One step, then another

Source: own
His recovery was a matter of time, of closing the wounds, of omitting the errors of the past and, also, of letting oneself go, like a branch that goes down a stream without knowing where it will end. I knew of his energy, of his strength to continue fighting, to achieve the goals he had set for himself, that his stop was only to gain strength and move forward. 
That morning I gave him a flower, a wild daisy growing in our garden. I took it out carefully with all its roots, with some soil and transplanted it into a flowerpot. I gave it to him because I knew he would like it, that it would lift his spirits to have that wild flower in his room. She took it in her hands, smiled at me and placed it by the window. There she will find the harmony necessary to grow, she said. 
Then we went down to breakfast and she sat next to me. 
"Are you ready?" 
"I don't know. You're never ready to start a new path. Besides, after leaving everything, it's not easy to start all over again."
"You know what they say, one step and then another. There is no other way to start."
"Yes, I know the theory, but the complicated thing is to take that step. Sometimes I have the feeling that my feet are nailed to the ground."
"Then you'll have to buy an ear hammer."
"I don't understand you."
"Yes, to get rid of the nails."
"It's a metaphor."
"Yes, I know, my hammer is too. Nails need hammers, and in your case you just have to look for the right tool to help you take that first step."
"Clearly, in life you have to have tools. If you have tools we are saved."
"Today could be that day; the day you take the first step. You could start by deleting the first ten articles from your blog, then, the next day, continue with another ten, until there are no articles left."
"And when I'm done with everything, what am I going to do? "
"To live, which is no small thing. To get up in the mornings to dedicate yourself to the contemplative life." 
"I don't know if I can. That's a lot of years writing every day."
"Living doesn't need training. You just need to live. You have to leave behind what doesn't satisfy you. You can always write again."
"Well, that's what I'll do."
He finished his breakfast, sat down in front of his laptop and erased his first items. He got up and I saw him crying. Then he went out into the garden and sat down on a lounger. He had taken the first step of his new life.