15 agosto 2018

The hassles with the tie

I don't know how many times I've tried to learn to tie the fucking tie and failure has always been present in such attempts. What if the single knot, the Windsor, the half Windsor, the double single, the cross knot or the no less important, small knot. 
They don't teach you how to tie a tie in school, and at least once in your life, usually at weddings and funerals, and in this part of the first world, you have to wear a tie. 
However, once again and with great courage, I have set about it again. I have collected the practical information on the Internet, located the website for the knots and printed the attached documentation. I have set to work in front of my mirror, which is sometimes a son of a bitch, with a sheet of paper on top of the sink and sweaty hands. I decided on the Windsor knot, which is a classic. I can't do it the first time. The second time I'm tuning up the churro and it seems that the manual matter is on its way, but my hands are still sweating. 
Third time, uff. The will falters and if the will falters, I don't know if I will be able to reach my goal. The will, they say, is the secret of success; some talent and a lot of will. 
It crosses my mind to leave it for another day, so that the knowledge settles and my fucking neurons work on the Windsor and allow me to finish the fucking knot.
I take the page and get it close enough. I realize that presbyopia has played a dirty trick on me, because I read a sentence in Times New Roman, size 8: 
It's quite complicated to do. 
I reflect for a moment on whether to abandon the Gordian task and opt for another knot that is more within the reach of my obvious, manual limitations. 
In the end, I decide to continue the fight. I like to finish what I finish. My wife says that's one of my most remarkable qualities. I'm not so sure about that. After an hour, I make the fucking Windsor knot in the balls. 
I'm happy about it. I will be able to go to my appointment as the canons of etiquette command, but with the sad conviction and also with some desperation, that this learning is as ephemeral as the water in the hands. because I have the feeling that tying tie knots is not like riding a bicycle, which you learn forever, but it takes a lot of daily practice and I really think I will see Mr Windsor in a few months' time.

 Image Source: Pixabay

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